Tinder Dinner, Binge and Purge, The Dollar Menu Of Dating Apps

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Four of the bad stars for the bad, bad dating site Tinder…Home of the robot prostitutes, the simple hot-or-not game you can play anywhere…in long ques, on the pot, in your car at stoplights…only at stoplights…

It’s home for the lazy, attention seeking, impulsive people who are “available” but not actually available…ooh, deep dig. Might not be true of everyone but…

Home, lazy, attention seeking…sounds like a TV. Or the classic ‘netflix and chill’ gotten to you easier, quicker and for less money via your friendly neighborhood app TINDER.download

The whole idea of swiping through a line-up, like you are looking for the criminal you witnessed in a jail line-up…you cannot help but compare to the people you saw previously. Once you swipe through your radius…which, will happen if you withstand the finger strain…you can judge an average and pull the highest quality out of the bunch…

(For a chat? Or just skip that safety feature of your judgment…and just meet up!)

And this review is pointing out that none of it is quality. Hence the apt comparison for this app as a dollar menu of dating…food that is made for a dollar is part filler (not food, and yet edible and legal to feed you) in order to make it cheap enough.

In order to be desperate enough to date on an app…in order to keep up with Tinder’s consequences-to-dating…

I’m not calling everyone on Tinder cheap ____…

Granted, some people are doped on the prospected (yes this is a new synonm for ‘mate’ – and some of them are bots, prospected bots) and really feel the blood loss to the head.

Tinder Is Cheap to Dating As Fast Food Is to Food. It Fills Us with Fillers.

I’d bet Tinder has three main approaches to dating, three main types of people: the sugar, the fat and the protein.

Unlike other sites that filter and sort you in some way for compatibility’s sake…tinder just throws you out for the sharks. (Do you see sharks in this ink blot? What are they eating? Dollar menu food? Eww.)Rorschach_blot_01

Tinder…Where Standards Become Relative

At least match.com matches you on paper…which is cool since no paper was involved…because it’s the internet.

Tinder is so simple…we match because you like me, or this flat image I peacock flared of myself…or because cool, I felt better to you than those last few. Winning. Are you?

With a 500 word maxium byline, and a few pictures… “I like walking in the rain…” and you there you meet your husband or wife on a dating app. Which way do you swipe, then?

Wow.

The way people brand that byline is really telling, like a Rorschach test…For example, it’s popular to say “Swipe Left If…NO”

  • you don’t drink
  • you don’t drink beer
  • you don’t like cats
  • if you have kids
  • if you don’t want kids
  • if you have no sense of humor
  • if you don’t like the looks of me
  • if you are just here for a hook up

This has an incredibly closed-minded and sure, direct if not presumptuous and bossy…

Here is a little $ menu of “Restrictions for Swiping Right – LIKE”

  • no bathroom selfies
  • no car selfies
  • no alcohol in every photo
  • no two-chics (unless clearly family)
  • no sports paraphernalia in every photo (insert your anti-hobby)
  • no here-to-hook-up attitude in byline

It’s fairly acknowledged within tinder itself that it’s the hook up of dating apps.

Some founding employees of Tinder broke off and started their own app, Bumble, which corrects the issue of men being too hyped, predatory and aggressive because women controls who talks first. Ladies first? Not a novel idea, albeit an ignored one on Tinder.

To acknowledge it will likely help you sift through all the crap. Then you’ll be left with a few date-able options.

You’re welcome.

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